An Open Letter in Response to an Open Letter

First, read this:

http://www.littlethings.com/dog-owners-are-not-parents/

Now, read this:

Dear Angry Mom of Human Children,

Thank you for sharing your stance on this very, very important issue we are being faced with. In a world where our President could very well be an orange-hued racist pathological liar in just a few months, and where people get gunned down senselessly almost every single day, this is most definitely a worthwhile topic to spend your energy on.

You are angry about LochteGate when you should be angry about Syria.

But I admit, not every single thing I write about is full of world-changing opinions or information. So I’ll bite.

As the proud parent (yes, I said PARENT) of two dogs, I wholeheartedly disagree with your blog post. And no, it’s not because I think that my life as a dog mom is just as difficult and trying as your life with a daughter. It’s because what you have done here is instructed me where I am allowed to direct my love, and that does not sit well with me.

I have a lot of love to give. I am a loving person. I love people, I love dogs, I love spiders that aren’t too big or hairy, I love every baby animal that has ever existed, I love getting mail, I love those adorable POP Funko things, I love wearing ball gowns, I love feeling pretty, I love wine, I love very hot showers. Bottom line, I LOVE.

So when someone takes time out of their day to publish an entire diatribe about why my love is wrong and theirs is right, I get mad. I do not love that. I actually take great offense to it.

Love is the most important survival tool we have right now. It is free. It is everywhere, if you are willing to look. You can literally create it yourself. As long as you don’t love war or hurting things or pollution or Justin Bieber, you basically can’t go wrong with love. So perhaps instead of telling me that I am wrong because I love my adorable, loyal, innocent fur babies too much, you should look at dog owners such as myself, smile, shake your head, and think, “Look at all of that love she has to give. As silly as I think she is, thank goodness that love exists in this world right now.” And then hold your daughter a little closer because, as history has proven over and over again, love begets love. Love breeds love.

Also, please don’t define my family for me. If I decide that my family is my husband and our 87 dogs (Colin, I have something to tell you), then that is my decision and my prerogative. If I decide that having human babies is not for me, or worse, if I am unable to have my own human babies, I am allowed to choose dogs instead. You don’t have to agree with me, but please don’t judge me.CYtdZDUWcAA9Q71

I won’t even go into great detail about your bullet point list of why raising a child is different than owning a dog. I can sum it up for you in one sentence: One is a human being, and one is an animal. That’s akin to making a list detailing why Star Wars is not the same as Mean Girls. You literally just wasted your time explaining the difference between people and dogs to an entire Internet full of people who knows the difference between people and dogs. You say that parenting your child takes a lot of work and energy and dedication, so perhaps writing this list was a misuse of your time.

Okay, I’ll go into a little detail. Your list is also full of misinformation and incredibly overarching blanket statements. We fix our dogs because there is a severe national problem with overcrowding in shelters, and the less dogs that are in shelters, the less dogs have to be euthanized for space reasons. So we fix our dogs to do our small part in solving this massive issue. Also, the vast majority of us don’t breed our dogs and sell them “for a mint.” And finally, I was a babysitter for years. So I know for a fact that you can, in fact, drop your child off somewhere and pay to have someone bathe her. I know because I have been paid to bathe many children. It’s called childcare. CotPnuZWIAAfBih

As I write this, one of my two dogs is sitting at my feet, violently shaking because of an air show that is currently happening. The fighter jets petrify him, and he is helpless. He hides, he cowers, he accidentally pees himself. And my love for him grows exponentially by the minute. This is a living being experiencing crippling fear. It is my responsibility as an educated human to take care of him. Just because he is a dog and not a child doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve affection and safety and affection. So yes, I will give up my whole afternoon so I can cover him in a blanket and hold him as close as I possibly can. Because he is my baby, and I love the ever loving shit out of him.

With Love,

Patti, Petey & Milo

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13 thoughts on “An Open Letter in Response to an Open Letter

  1. It would have been so easy to blow off the open letter writer, but instead you shared what family meant to you. Thank you for standing up for love and caring and positivity… people who live that are a large part of what makes life worthwhile.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Patti. I love your blog. I know you’ve had posts in the past about how you’ve gotten to this point in life after struggles and everything. Does everything kind of fall into place after a while? I feel like I have all that I want out of a job, but I haven’t seem to found the person I want to spend forever with. I want to meet someone and be as happy as everyone around me. Will it all fall into place? It seems like everyone I know is married, engaged, or with kids. I don’t have any of that. It makes me anxious sometimes and I’m not sure how to get out of this rut. Thanks so much for your real posts. Any advice you have would be great.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband and I decided not to have children. Part of that reason being we love our dog so much we didn’t want him (or other dogs we adopt in the future) to “come second once you have babies”. There were other factors of course, we are both in theatre but our Chihuahua/terrier is our baby! We later found out I couldn’t have kids because of health issues but we were okay with things because of our decision already being made. Why should someone else care if I/we choose to adopt and rescue an animal rather than bring yet another child into the world? We are happy and that’s all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I also agree wholeheartedly — as a new mom of a 2 month old baby AND a seasoned mom of a 5 year old pup named Henry. I love them both fiercely, and truly think that having our dog helped us learn how to be better parents for this new little boy we’re now in charge of keeping happy and healthy. I’ll always consider Henry my first-born, and am thoroughly enjoying getting to watch him with his new little brother. Kudos to you for standing up for the dog-mom’s out there — taking responsibility for another living thing takes heart, time, energy and I truly think it enhances and enriches the human experience whether that baby is a feline, canine, or human!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: An Open Letter in Response to an Open Letter – just for today

  6. I whole heartedly agree. I, along with many of my friends, are the proud parents of both humans and beloved pets. We are able to distinguish between the two and love both with all our hearts. Honest to God, she felt the need to explain it to us?? Animals HAVE FEELINGS. They are capable of feeling love, happiness, sadness, and fear and more. I can’t help but think that the author, although she claims that they are “just the best” doesn’t fully understand the bond that is capable between us and should never be betrayed. “Faux parents” my ass!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Only two things to add, I would like to add Cats to your dog’s as my two 15 year old cats are indeed my fur babies. The loss of a pet is as painful as losing a human, I have lost both (that includes children) I am referring to the “emotion” of loss the pain is as severe.
    The other we could have a president that should be “WEARING” Orange.

    As always Patti, I am glad I found your blog again!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. We don’t have dogs, but we have cats. One is so terrified by thunder storms that he won’t let his humans leave his sight, and will keep in contact with me or my husband at all times during one.

    The other, we willingly spent our wedding budget on for two hip surgeries before he was two years old. Because that is what you do for the ones you love. His quality of life has improved so much, you would never know that he could barely walk in January. We are asked how we could spend close to five grand on a cat. Well…how could you not if you knew it would help?

    Pets are family. They rely on us just as much as a human baby/kid would, if not more. Eventually a human becomes self-sufficient. Pets could…but their life would not be as good for it.

    But when you are having a bad day either due to events or mental illness, and these fuzzy four legged kids flop onto your lap and give kisses until you are laughing? I agree. Don’t tell me we don’t love them. They are our kids. They just happen to have fur.

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